Private Eye

Ok, so I've been thinking about this nickname Lynnconspicuous and thought I'd do some research.

Checking the dictionary it means:

con·spic·u·ous  –adjective
1.easily seen or noticed; readily visible or observable
2.attracting special attention, as by outstanding qualities or eccentricities

I have to agree with my brother, the name is fitting. I can in fact be as subtle as a yellow school bus at times. Despite me efforts to blend into the woodwork I might as well be wearing bright fucia instead of a grainy brown seude suite.

I have always wanted to be a private eye and thought my strategy would be to be so frickin obvious that there is no way I would be suspected of being "under cover"...under the bar maybe but not on the "down low".

Imagine you get assigned to check if a man is cheating and instead of sitting in a dark corner taking pics you walk into the bar all hoochied up, sit next to him, ask him if he wants to "get out of this place" and when he says "yes" you simply lean into your undercover lapel mic and say..."Guilty!"

Or if you got assigned to investigate some big corporate corruption scheme you just walk into the break room with your Oprah coffee mug and ask where the file room is located. You scoot down the hall in your corporate pumps, open that bad boy up and drag out the evidence, snap a few pics with your flip phone and grab a scone on the way out.

This one time I was asked to scout a basketball team we were going to play and instead of going to a big Friday night game with 800 other people, I walked into a practice and sat in the stands taking great notes. The coach gave me a few cursery glances but pretty sure he was just thinking who's Mom is that again...the notebook and video cam I pulled out of my purse should have concerned him but nope.

I'd be like the middle-aged cougar version of the Pink Panther. Doing my sly work under the cover of plain sight. I'd be "heard" before I was seen and I would be WAY too conspicuous to be inconspicuous.